Life Lessons and Legos

In recent sessions with clients ranging from the ages of 5 to 16, I utilized the Legos that were donated from United Way of Orange County to illustrate a lesson about life.  Each of the clients have a different story that has impacted their life that range from abuse, abandonment, or suffering the consequences of negative parental choices and the lesson about life is the same.  Even though the clients carefully constructed their models and put thought into the color patterns,  they often found that the structure would suddenly break or fall apart.  They would fix one part of the structure, only to see another part of the structure fall apart.  Some clients demonstrated frustration with the Legos and one little five-year-old client wanted to just quit after her structure fell apart several times.  However, with encouragement to pursue her goal, she was able to create the camera that she intended to make from the beginning.  The final product was not the same as she originally imagined, but she was proud of what she created.

In life, we need strong social supports, but we also have to be willing to accept the help.

As life-long learners, we discover that it is important to learn from our mistakes or from adversities, and not give up.

To be successful in our life journey, we accept that bad things happen, but are committed to pursuing the goals that we value.

One eight-year-old client summed up the building process with Legos in this way, "You have to build your structure on a firm foundation, the foundation is the key."  As an individual who had not used these types of Legos in the past,  this client showed me how to build a stronger base so that my tower would not break.  We identified how life is similar to Legos in that respect.  If individuals develop effective coping skills for dealing with anger, adversity, grief, anxiety, etc. they learn how to build an effective and supportive foundation for regulating their emotions.  In life, it appears that things may be falling apart much like the Lego structures.  We might get frustrated, angry, and at times, just throw up our hands and say, "I quit!" Many clients have identified with the concepts of the acceptance and commitment theory in that they identify the need to solve the problem rather than running away or avoiding the problem.  Individuals engaging in self-directed learning through a strong therapeutic alliance with their counselor have discovered that running away from any problem only increases the distance from the solution.